I just wanted to thank everyone that voted for me in the prestigious Most Awesome Award Award. This actually did come as a bit of surprise to me honestly since this year was a really stacked list of nominees between myself, a pack of Mentos, and the last minute write in of George Washington. Let me tell you, Mentos is one hard act to beat. I mean who the hell can compete with The Fresh Maker? And Washington? Wow. I can’t explain how much my heart sank when I heard about him.
Now I just want to tell you that it was no easy task. It took a lot of campaigning, travel, self promoting, and paying people off but it still looked like both competitors had a sharp lead over me. I really put a lot of time and effort into convincing people I was the person to vote for. Unfortunately even up to a week before I was behind by too many votes. It wasn’t until luck decided to turn in my favor. Apparently an anonymous call alerted the Most Awesome Award Award panel to the fact that Washington had been dead for over 200 years. It’s what people “in the know” call a deal breaker. On top of that, I ate the pack of Mentos.
So in closing I’d just like to thank everyone that voted for me, your support has been the backbone of my reinforced structure. And for those who didn’t vote for me? AY YAAAAY! Where’s you Mentos now, fools? I’m out.